1. |
Decisions
04:00
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I miss you in my mind but I don’t feel it anymore
That’s part of the cycle to close an open door
I hate to say it but I know this will go away
Our right now affection will be feelings of yesterday
To push to pull to give and take
To love and send it away
To hide to seek
To have to say goodbye to every person that you meet
It’s a strange dilemma taut with possibilities
Forcing confident decisions keeping agile in the knees
It’s for the better if we say that we know
but inside we’re just making it up as we go
To right what’s wrong
To gracefully just move along
To numb to feel to not be scared
Shaking hands with stranger lands
Overwhelming odds for underwhelming dreams
Chasing tails in circles Is as good as its gonna be
Sound and sonic distractions making our bodies sway
The sensation of progression keeps us going anyway
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2. |
Diving Lessons
04:15
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At the YMCA swimming pool
I was learning how keep my cool
In water deeper than my head
Just started to get a grip
listening to the muted screams underneath
I was beginning to be at peace
But I knew it wasn’t going to stay this way
To pass the class I had to play
The diving game like all the other kids
From way up there it looked mile down
My knees were locking I was crying now
It doesn’t help that they’re cheering me on
I couldn’t jump I was wasting time
So the teacher told me they'll make up my mind
Or they'll have to drop me in
My heart was beating faster than I thought it could
My legs quit working when they really should
Fear has a funny way of digging in
My arms start flailing like a cat in the tub
I couldn’t figure out which way was up
I think this failure is sinking in
I think my failures are sinking in
Years went by avoiding anything deep
Diving lessons never worked on me
But I think it’s time to try again
My pal said that he could give me a hand
We’ll take it slow we're not far from land
We’ll have a lifejacket just in case I start freaking out
But I lost track of my peaceful mind
I was grabbing on to anything I could find
I almost drown my friend who was just trying to help me swim
My heart was beating faster than I thought it could
My legs quit working when they really should
Fear has a funny way of digging in
My arms start flailing like a cat in the tub
I couldn’t figure out which way was up
I think this failure is sinking in
I think my failures are sinking in
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3. |
Black Eye and Reason Why
03:35
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Some nights I dream of fighting with my fists
Some days I want to wake up not knowing where I am
But some little punk is telling me that’s not who I should be
So I’m going to make sure he knows I have a problem with him
Is the story worth telling about a boring little chicken out man
Sitting in his home town just wondering when?
Is the story worth telling if my heart’s not beat and broken
Left in all the places that I’ve ever been?
I just want to have a rock star legacy
I just want to be like Lou Reed or Jimmy
but that’s not me
I just want to be a fight club kinda guy
I just want to give some asshole a black eye
But that’s not me
I know that’s not me cuz
My skinny arms tire too easily
My passive nature forces me
To apologize if you look angry
But I know that’s not me
I’ll go out of my way to agree
Even if inside you’re killing me
I can take what you dish so easily
My Push over state of mind is aggressively
Making me feel less interesting
Here’s to my beta male mentality
Shutting me up and keeping me clean
I will never have a rock star legacy
I will never be like Lou Reed or Jimmy
Just let me dream
I will never be a fight club kinda guy
I may never give some asshole a black eye
That’s okay with me
I can’t fight but I can scream
That's enough for me
I don’t care if you’re listening
I just need a moment to clear my brain
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4. |
Out of Order
04:45
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Rows of graphite and spongy eyes
Feed me that textbook medicine
Just don’t want to miss out on potential worth
To shove into my pasty skin
Format matters as a matter of fact
Fact is I’m feeling formidable
Test my patience like you test my mind
Writing answers that crossed the line
Business school college rule
Time to Make something of yourself
Out of order today
Just can’t get my mind over matter made out
Cheating from the corner of my eyes
Connecting the dots but they don’t want to align
Ten-pound books tearing through my mind
Page by page I found myself stop trying
C’s get degrees that are hotter than mine
F is for fantastic use of my time
Hey check out my next party trick
It’s time for me to drop out again real quick
I’m not cut out for the A to B plan
Does that make me a lesser man?
Business school College rule
Time to Make something of yourself
Out of order today
Just can’t get my mind over matter made out
Cheating from the corner of my eyes
Connecting the dots but they don’t want to align
Kids get your checkbooks out
Play a little game for fun
Freedom ringing in your ears
Feeling like a loaded gun
Out of order today
Just can’t get my mind over matter made out
Cheating out of the corner of my eyes
Connecting the dots but they don’t want to align
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5. |
Questions
04:28
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Question everything that you see
Blurry on your own history
Never trust someone who knows the truth
They’re probably hiding something from you
Speak up louder than the last guy
That really helps prove that you are right
Now I can’t help but fall into your arms
So articulate smart and strong
I know the static wins
You can talk this life to death
But static wins
I know you’re screaming
Your point has been made
But static wins
My respect is earned by honesty
Honestly it doesn’t matter to me
We’re in a big game of the price is right
Come on down and be our winner tonight
Clarity can set the mind at ease
Or is that just ignorance blessing me?
Maybe someone’s watching out for you
And the signal's just not coming through
I know the static wins
You can talk this life to death
But the static wins
I know you're screaming
Your point has been made
But the static wins
I know the static wins
Little melodies start creeping in
Just as I start singing
The static starts questioning
I know the static wins
Little melodies start creeping in
Just as I start singing
The static starts questioning
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6. |
Stupid Kids
05:16
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Chasing dreams at night
Like Olympic athletes in the games
For the glory of that piece of gold
Flying far above like hero's
To save the day from tragedy
Because the bad guys just won't take a break
Card games on the concrete and
Candy from across the gravel street
I swear we would never get bored
Getting close to bedtime
I would turn pretend off on a dime and
You would stay there the whole night through
Those were the days
We were just stupid kids under the pine trees
Making mud pies and booby traps for
The suits that would fight our anarchy
We were just stupid kids out in the backyard
Fighting monsters and madness
That tried to swallow up our families
We were just stupid kids
High school came so quick
I think both of us were fed up with it
You would still escape in a fantasy
Time crept in the way
And I got swallowed up by the everyday
Tasks of trying to learn reality
Weeks turned into years
Before it all became so very clear
How much those times together meant to you
I’ll try my best to keep our quest alive and well
No matter where in life we really go
Those were the days
We were just stupid kids under the pine trees
Making mud pies and booby traps for
The suits that would fight our anarchy
We were just stupid kids out in the backyard
Fighting monsters and madness
That tried to swallow up our families
We were just stupid kids
We took some dark turns
Lost our tracks maps out back
We just got frustrated separated
Left behind to find your own way home
We were just stupid kids under the pine trees
Making mud pies and booby traps for
The suits that would fight our anarchy
We were just stupid kids out in the backyard
Fighting monsters and madness
That tried to swallow up our families
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7. |
The Party
03:37
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You keep talking and talking and talking all night long
Just keep fighting and fighting and fighting all night long
The lights are blue you seem down to me
Where do you go?
The lights are blue you’re distant from me.
Where do you go?
Something’s different it’s different
Please tell me
Have I let those dark vultures
Just pick you right from me?
The lights are blue you seem down to me
Where do you go?
The lights are blue you’re distant from me.
Where do you go?
Why did I come here?
Is it someone's birthday?
Is it a new year?
Why did they invite me
I'm so unprepared for this
This is a catalyst
For me to disappear
I'm going to disappear
The lights are blue you seem down to me
Where do you go?
The lights are blue you’re distant from me.
Where do you go?
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8. |
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The weather brought me out this way
It's hot upstairs sweat drops forming on my face
Trying to calm a nervous knee
Some fresh air would be good for me
There's times to bite my tongue and cheek
Now's not the time I've got to come clean
Because I care for you and it's eating me away
It's eating me away
I have lied far too many times
A\bout about the thoughts running through my head
When I said there was joy it might have been rain
I'm unamused by most everything
So keep being you and I'll follow along
Slowly picking these rocks out of my brain
I do my best to plan ahead
The t's are crossed dot's on my eyes
Now I can't read what I wrote
Scratch that ill put it in my memory
I tend to drive over medians
I'm going to have concrete in my engine
Is it supposed to sound this way?
It keeps running I guess it's ok
Hold on I'm on my way
I have lied far too many times
A\bout about the thoughts running through my head
When I said there was joy it might have been rain
I'm unamused by most everything
So keep being you and I'll follow along
Slowly picking these rocks out of my brain
The weather brought me out this way
Just curious how long can I stay?
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9. |
Star Struck Redux
03:12
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I don’t know what I believe
Is it what you told me?
Is it from Sunday school
Is it what makes me cool
Maybe it boils blood
Maybe it makes me a fool
Maybe tomorrow I’ll believe in something new
Breaking down is how we start
Quitting school is the easy part
Being broke is way more fun
Being alive is coming undone
Quitting time is in the dirt
R.I.P is victory
Don’t waste your time visiting my body
Robots will kill humanity
Use our blood artistically
Forget about our history
Til earth is out of batteries
Claim they are invincible
Because there’s one to save them all
As long you answer that robocall
All I am
Is all of Us
A moment awake
A bunch of dust
All I am
Is all of Us
A moment awake
A bunch of dust
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10. |
Couch Days
02:48
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If I spent as much time coughing up diamonds
As I do sitting with opinions and vanishing
I could make a buck or two and a friend or three
Breath fresh air start feeling free
Couch days
Landlocked and unafraid
Maybe unamused
It’s where I lay
I’m here to stay
2am reeling am I resting?
Or just restlessly avoiding everything
Dodging all decisions watching underwhelming dreams
Catching what is easy the odds are overwhelming
Couch days
Landlocked and unafraid
Maybe unamused
It’s where I lay
I’m here to stay
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Backyard Twin Falls, Idaho
Hello, my name is Eli. This is the music I make.
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